Thinking & Running Don't Mix!

Today's the day. Five miles. (Okay, technically, since I'm now at the start of week #6 (after skipping weeks 1-4), I should run six miles, but give me a break! So far I can barely run three miles without keeling over from muscle spasms and pain.)

I parked my car at the entrance to Aliso & Wood Canyons Park and ran down the Aliso Canyon Trail to Wood Canyon Trail to Dripping Cave (and back, of course). It was actually very refreshing to be running out in "nature" and it was encouraging to see so many other bikers and runners outside with me on a Sunday morning. The run back to Dripping Cave was much more painful than the run back to the car, so I guess that means I'm making progress. I honestly thought that I was going to have a heat stroke right before I arrived at the cave, but luckily some scrub oak trees finally provided me with a little bit of shade from the hot morning sun.

Here's a picture of the entrance to the cave:

And here's a picture of me at the cave last month when I hiked there with my friend Angela and her friends, Coral and Marcelo:

After my run I went to Sabina's for brunch and she asked me what I think about when I run. I cannot think about anything serious when I run because it literally makes me want to hurl. I can't think about work, bills, teaching, etc. And I can't be completely negative and always think, "I'm going to fall down and have a heart attack any minute...I just know it." So normally I just run around thinking, "Carrie, you're doing SUCH a great job! Keep it up! You're awesome! Look at that stride...that's like a 6 inch stride...MUCH better than yesterday's 4 inch stride. Hey, look at that 70 year old woman hobbling along there...you can run faster than her! And that dog with only two legs...I'm sure you could out run him. Carrie, you're doing so well. I'm so proud of you."

Sometimes, though, I get distracted from my personal cheerleading and start thinking, "Geez...I just ran two miles...I just need to tack on 24.2 more and I'm good to go....uggg..." But then I start to feel last night's dinner coming up and quickly switch back to "Atta girl Carrie...you're running faster than those people walking over there, which means that if they walk the marathon and you run it, you'll beat them and won't come in last. You're so fast!"

I don't want to sound completely narcissistic though so I don't tell myself how amazing I'm doing ALL the time. My thoughts do drift..."Huh...look at the cracks in the sidewalk--better not step on them or I'll break my mother's back...that is such a silly (and demented) rhyme from when we were kids...ew--that dog poop is huge...I should wash a load of whites today...ug--my nose is running...will anyone see me do a "farmer's blow"?...wait, that dog poop is even bigger than the last one!"

Sometimes my thoughts create fear...for example, on Saturday I saw a guy cross the road and walk onto my sidewalk. He didn't use a cross walk and he crossed the road in a place where there were no stores or houses on either side, so he wasn't crossing to get to somewhere in particular faster. I started to wonder why he crossed the road where he did (I mean, I know the riddle...he crossed to get to the other side, but did he cross near me?). Was he now walking in my direction on my side of the street? Was he going to kidnap me? Are those footsteps I hear quickly approaching me? If I run closest to the road on the sidewalk will he be less likely to steal me and will a driver be more likely to see it if he tries? If I blow my nose in the bushes now, will that gross him out and scare him off? Dang, I should have picked up that dog poop back there so I could fling it at him if he tries to attack me.

And yesterday in the park, I thought (multiple times) that I heard a mountain lion in the bushes. You'd think that would make me want to run faster, but really it just made me want to lie down and surrender to his appetite. Luckily, it always turned out to be birds and lizards and not mountain lions.

Monday is an off day. Running--and thinking while running--is draining. I need a day to sit in front of the TV and take my mind off everything.